Financial Fairy Tale Enthusiast Gifts

'No prince meets princess, prince saves princess and they live happily ever after again. Read me something about mutual funds and IRAs.'

'You used to be an investment consultant, Fred -- what should I do with this quarter I found?'

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Sub-prime Bear

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

"If you believe, clap your hands. Don't let our IPO die!"

Business Fairy Tales.

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

"Tonight's story is about sustainable economic growth without quantitative easing."

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'My wife left me and I lost my fortune. Well, not in this order.'

Symbols of Wall St.

Accounts: Kill Bills.

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

'Another golden egg Mr. Goose! At this rate you'll be a millionaire soon!'

'How to profit from a financial meltdown.'

"That's Jack from accounting. He's a magic bean counter."

'Ever wonder how you're going to pay off your school loan?'

'I'm sorry my Queen, but Snow White also has a much healthier portfolio than you do.'

TO DESCRIBE THE NHS BUDGET AS A 'BLACK HOLE' IS INNACURATE AND SIMPLISTIC...I THINK A 'YWNING BLACK CHASM STRETCHING DEEP INTO THE MOLTEN BOWELS OF THE EARTH' WOULD BE MORE ACCURATE!

"Sounds good, but what do I have to put up as collateral?"

'So the stock market hit 12,000 and everyone lived happily ever after.'

'Is there any point in the little piggy going to market?'

"Nobody's giving you the push, darling, it's just that the present market dictates that I sell my assets."

A accountant is here to see you...

'Everyone lived happily ever after? Was the Stock at an all time high then, like it is now?'