Financial Fairy Tale Analyst Gifts

'Is there any point in the little piggy going to market?'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Sub-prime Bear

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

"Well, it's official. This household is definitely in a recession."

Royal Mail Privatisation

'Why are you so bloody cheerful?'

"If you believe, clap your hands. Don't let our IPO die!"

Business Fairy Tales.

'Crisis'

'Shouldn't we pull this corporation over and ask for directions.'

"Ah, what you need is our instant access account"

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

'And the largest slice is mine.'

'In the eventuality of a double dip...'

'What did you do - tell him the amount of his share of the national debt?'

Symbols of Wall St.

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

"Whew, I'm glad it's a jobless recovery."

"That story had an engaging plot, but 'lived happily ever after' is an unsatisfying denouement."

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

"You're only winning because it's a wheelbarrow race."

'Another golden egg Mr. Goose! At this rate you'll be a millionaire soon!'

"He has no problem crashing into a wall at 150 KPH, but when it comes to investing in crypto currencies. . ."

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

"After the prince finds Cinderella, do they decided to drop out of royal family, like Prince Harry and Meghan?"

"That's Jack from accounting. He's a magic bean counter."

"There's an INDICATION that we MAY be looking at the POSSIBILITY of a POTENTIAL partial recovery over the SHORT or LONG term ...But I wouldn't want you to hold me to that!"

'I'm sorry my Queen, but Snow White also has a much healthier portfolio than you do.'

'So the stock market hit 12,000 and everyone lived happily ever after.'