Financial Fairy Tales Gifts

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

Sub-prime Bear

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

Building a gingerbread house

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

"If you believe, clap your hands. Don't let our IPO die!"

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

Business Fairy Tales.

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

"Tonight's story is about sustainable economic growth without quantitative easing."

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

"It's just as easy to love a man with a pension as to love a man without one."

Symbols of Wall St.

'I'm sorry. The possibility that you may have won $10 million in the sweepstakes won't do as collateral.'

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

'Another golden egg Mr. Goose! At this rate you'll be a millionaire soon!'

"That's Jack from accounting. He's a magic bean counter."

'Ever wonder how you're going to pay off your school loan?'

'I'm sorry my Queen, but Snow White also has a much healthier portfolio than you do.'

"Sounds good, but what do I have to put up as collateral?"

'So the stock market hit 12,000 and everyone lived happily ever after.'

'Is there any point in the little piggy going to market?'

'Everyone lived happily ever after? Was the Stock at an all time high then, like it is now?'

'No prince meets princess, prince saves princess and they live happily ever after again. Read me something about mutual funds and IRAs.'

'You used to be an investment consultant, Fred -- what should I do with this quarter I found?'

'I can't wait to grow up and just go to that machine and get money!'