Financial Tale Lover Pillows

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

The day the stock market went UP.

Sub-prime Bear

Jumping Wall Street.

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

Dollars Press Conference

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

'I sure thought we were done for when we flat-lined like that.'

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

'If you kiss me, I'll cause the Dow Jones Industrial Average to soar, manufacturing and trade data to re-accelerate, and housing to rebound significantly throughout the remainder of this and the next quarter.'

"Once upon a time, gold was 60 pounds an ounce."

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

You think you have feelings of worthlessness? You ought to see my portfolio!

"I have complete confidence that the company will overcome its debt load."

"And that's how Twitter almost crashed the Dow."

Business Fairy Tales.

'Stocks today remained unchanged on news 'the more things change, the more they stay the same''

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

Italy Shackled by the Euro Debt Crisis

'When to sell a stock? My rule has been to do it when I'm ready to skip the country with my client's assets.'

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

Stealth Taxman

"Pensions is a complicated business."

'I don't answer questions about investments. The subject is much to complicated and best left to professional advisors.'