Financial Adventure Lover Pillows

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

Businessman on a Slippery Downward Slide.

The Bullish World

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

Franchising a program

'We have an excellent investment counselor and if things don't work out, an equally good investment therapist.'

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

Man with a Plan

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

'Your in great shape...'

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

'Yeah. It was a good day.'

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

What's a CEO's motivation?

'I sure thought we were done for when we flat-lined like that.'

"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."

"I take it your credit score has gone up?"

'I'll show you my investment opportunity if you'll show me yours.'

"By 2020 millennials will control half of all investible assets...and we're still paying her car insurance?"

'The acting was awful and the plot was thin, but the mortgage rate looked interesting.'

'We've discovered the Cave of Missing Accounting Ledgers.'