Financial Adventures Pillows

'I quit my job because I'm coming into money. Yep, I'm 4-6 weeks away from several rebate checks arriving.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"That was a rumor day."

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Till debt do us part...'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'The bouncing dot.com. bomb.'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

Businessman on a Slippery Downward Slide.

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'And now, here's our own Ted Slimbuck to explain all those ups and downs in the stock market.'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Stock market ups and downs.

Masochism for stockholders.

'We have an excellent investment counselor and if things don't work out, an equally good investment therapist.'

'When daddy comes home, tell him you still love him, even though he lost money with stupid trades in emerging markets.'

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

'I'd like to extend my overdraft...'

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel

'If you kiss me, I'll cause the Dow Jones Industrial Average to soar, manufacturing and trade data to re-accelerate, and housing to rebound significantly throughout the remainder of this and the next quarter.'

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"