Finance Fairytale Lover Pillows

'So the stock market hit 12,000 and everyone lived happily ever after.'

The day the stock market went UP.

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Sub-prime Bear

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

Accountant Bedtime Stories

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

Fairy godmother arrives

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"The third little pig built a super strong brick house so The Big Bad Wolf couldn't break in and violate the rules of social distancing."

Folk o' the Wee

'Hey! No Tongues!'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

I mean, do I set the oven at 400'? 450'? How long do I keep them in? Do I turn them halfway through cooking? Oh, if only children came with instructions.

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

Here "Lies" Pinocchio

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"Fashion over function!"

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

'How would you like a fairy tale wedding before I eat you?'

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."