Financial Fairytale Enthusiast Pillows

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Sub-prime Bear

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

Business Fairy Tales.

"Tonight's story is about sustainable economic growth without quantitative easing."

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

Symbols of Wall St.

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

Accounts: Kill Bills.

'Another golden egg Mr. Goose! At this rate you'll be a millionaire soon!'

"That's Jack from accounting. He's a magic bean counter."

Investments: We have organic and gluten-free stocks.

'How to profit from a financial meltdown.'

"He's been on a power trip since his fantasy stock portfolio outperformed Warren Buffett's actual portfolio."

'We took a serious hit in commodities when Jack here decided to put our money into magic beans.'

'Ever wonder how you're going to pay off your school loan?'

'I'm sorry my Queen, but Snow White also has a much healthier portfolio than you do.'

"Nobody's giving you the push, darling, it's just that the present market dictates that I sell my assets."

TO DESCRIBE THE NHS BUDGET AS A 'BLACK HOLE' IS INNACURATE AND SIMPLISTIC...I THINK A 'YWNING BLACK CHASM STRETCHING DEEP INTO THE MOLTEN BOWELS OF THE EARTH' WOULD BE MORE ACCURATE!

'So the stock market hit 12,000 and everyone lived happily ever after.'

'Is there any point in the little piggy going to market?'

"The Prince and the Princess lived happily ever after on the income from their capital appreciation funds."

Get rich quick.

A accountant is here to see you...

'No prince meets princess, prince saves princess and they live happily ever after again. Read me something about mutual funds and IRAs.'