Financial Fairytales Enthusiast Pillows

Symbols of Wall St.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Sub-prime Bear

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

'If you kiss me, I'll cause the Dow Jones Industrial Average to soar, manufacturing and trade data to re-accelerate, and housing to rebound significantly throughout the remainder of this and the next quarter.'

Business Fairy Tales.

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

"Tonight's story is about sustainable economic growth without quantitative easing."

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

Accounts: Kill Bills.

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

'Another golden egg Mr. Goose! At this rate you'll be a millionaire soon!'

'How to profit from a financial meltdown.'

"That's Jack from accounting. He's a magic bean counter."

'We took a serious hit in commodities when Jack here decided to put our money into magic beans.'

'Okay, but just for argument's sake, let's say that it is the bank's business to know what you want the money for.'

'Ever wonder how you're going to pay off your school loan?'

'I'm sorry my Queen, but Snow White also has a much healthier portfolio than you do.'

'Everyone lived happily ever after? Was the Stock at an all time high then, like it is now?'

'Is there any point in the little piggy going to market?'

"The tax authority wants to hide someone from their witness protection program here. They think it'll be safe because no one would look for an honest accountant at our company."

'So the stock market hit 12,000 and everyone lived happily ever after.'

TO DESCRIBE THE NHS BUDGET AS A 'BLACK HOLE' IS INNACURATE AND SIMPLISTIC...I THINK A 'YWNING BLACK CHASM STRETCHING DEEP INTO THE MOLTEN BOWELS OF THE EARTH' WOULD BE MORE ACCURATE!

"Sounds good, but what do I have to put up as collateral?"

A accountant is here to see you...

"Nobody's giving you the push, darling, it's just that the present market dictates that I sell my assets."

Get rich quick.