Financial Fables Pillows

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Sub-prime Bear

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

People often have us confused with investment bankers. We loot and plunder, leaving a mess wherever we go, and when there are complaints we claim endangered species status.

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

'Help! I ran my business like a government.'

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

Business Fairy Tales.

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

'Dear shareholders, let me deliver a brief report on financial results...'

More toxic assets.

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

Cupid views his online credit rating.

"Woohoo! I can deduct the bribe for the tax inspector!"

'My advice? Invest in 'rRising Star' in the first race at Belmont. But what do I know? I'm just the boss' bookie.'

"Here's a blues number I wrote anout paying my dues with the cash back I got on my platinum card."

Symbols of Wall St.

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'I'm sorry. The possibility that you may have won $10 million in the sweepstakes won't do as collateral.'

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

'My bank has introduced a new 'SMS alert' service.'

"Here are the earnings projections. You said you enjoy reading fantasy, right?"

"I can grant your wish for a billion dollars, but you can't wish away filling out an IRS Form W-9."

'Another golden egg Mr. Goose! At this rate you'll be a millionaire soon!'

'If you can't get by on your present salary, Slocum, I suggest your wife get a second job.'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

'He's had a much healthier attitude to our financial woes since he started taking prescription anti-depressants.'