Funny Finance Lovers Gifts

"Hey, I dig the creative process. I'm an accountant!"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Jumping Wall Street.

"At least we're consistent ... "

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

The Decline of the Euro.

In case of falling markets break glass.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

Federal Guidelines

A few Halloween costume ideas.

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

I can't believe It!

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'It's a bill collector!'