Funny Finance Lovers Gifts

"Hey, I dig the creative process. I'm an accountant!"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"At least we're consistent ... "

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

In case of falling markets break glass.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

The Decline of the Euro.

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'

Federal Guidelines

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

I can't believe It!

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'