Bank Banter Pillows

Bank loan applicant

"Since interest rates are low, I'd like to refinance my bankruptcy."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

You said you wanted to speak to the chairman of Zapco Steel - I've just realised that's me.

Manager - I don't just manage, I excel!

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

Secret Identity Theft.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

Mixing Business and Pleasure

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

'Apparently if the banks don't pay top whack then senior staff will go off and bugger up someone else's business.'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

PANIC!