Banker Extraordinaire Gifts

'What do our service charges cover? -- people who ask too many questions!'

Profit

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

Attack of the 50 foot administrative professional.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

In and out, in and out, in and out...

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

"It's from eBay! I won a cigarette lighter for a 1964 Chevy Impala. I make my dreams come true one bid at a time."

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

'Would you like to file for a joint tax return with me?'

"Lucky!"

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

PANIC!

'Get Rich' Stock Brokers and 'Get Even' Attorney-at-law.

Plimbco Bank & Trust, old money division.

'My Dad's got a black belt for cooking!'

Frank Lloyd Wright

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

"Step in here Kimble, I'd like a word with you about your expense account."

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

Ex-Banker: Can you spare the price of a cup of tea? Anything else is a bonus.

Extreme Accounting!