Bank Robbery Stories Gifts

"Oh crap, I meant to hand her the stickup note first!"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"Don't editorialize."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

"White Collar Prison"

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

'Why is it always about me?'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

Undercover Biophysicists

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

Moses as a mobster.

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."