Bank Robber Humor Gifts

"Hold everything, Louis!"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Secret Identity Theft.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

"Keep it running."

Bank (with saloon type doors)

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"Hands up!"

PANIC!

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

'Sorry, we don't make loans.'

'Well £60 million is LESS than I'm used to...but now that we've agreed my bonus, what working capital will the Bank have?'