Bank Heist Humorist Gifts

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"Keep it running."

"Once we're in, Frank will get he TV remote, Eddie will grab the phone charger, and Ace - you'll be on tupperware lids."

Bank (with saloon type doors)

"Collateral?... Oh, trust me. When you see the collateral I've brought with me, you'll be running to your safe."

'Didn't you get the money before locking them in the vault?'

'This is a money order.'

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

A robber reads a book on banking

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

Secret Identity Theft.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Early Ram Raids

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Harvest Data Festival

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

PANIC!

Night Deposits.