Band Industry Insider Gifts

Gallagher Brothers.

Cimafunk

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

Six jazz instruments.

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

George Martin

'Then after the pan our third album, we split for musical differences..'

Louis Armstrong.

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

Patey's in a band! He's so cool!

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

Couple sharing earbuds.

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

Supermarket Merge

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

'The Orginial Big Band sound'

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

'I'm with the band.'

How hit songs get their names

'The global economy supplies basic tools. A lot of us get the axe.'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

Guitar Hero.

Bassoon practice.