Band-aid Collector T-Shirts

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

Utility Chic.

"Throw me somethin', mister."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

Minor Surgery

Towels embroidered with 'Me', and 'No... Me.'

'Dad, I've got two more chargers for you to store.'

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

'What do you recommend for the collecting bug?'

"People are O.K., but I prefer little pieces of string."

'This crocodile handbag never gets nicked!'

'Dr Yomp's laxatives works for you, and loosens up the slots at the casino!'

"We're editing our collection of plastic bags."

"Do you want me to leave the water in?"

"There it is again: that red, itchy rash on my skin... Maybe I should try another brand of soap instead of 'Sunlight'?"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Love from the Heart