Band-aid Collector Gifts

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

Utility Chic.

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"Throw me somethin', mister."

Does your computer have a webcam? Yes. I've fixed it so no one can spy on me. What a tech genius! A band-aid solution that works!

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

The evolution of a woman's purse.

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

Minor Surgery

Towels embroidered with 'Me', and 'No... Me.'

'Dad, I've got two more chargers for you to store.'

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

'Dr Yomp's laxatives works for you, and loosens up the slots at the casino!'

"People are O.K., but I prefer little pieces of string."

'What do you recommend for the collecting bug?'

'This crocodile handbag never gets nicked!'

"We're editing our collection of plastic bags."

"Do you want me to leave the water in?"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Love from the Heart

You shouldn't be embarrassed