Band-aid Fixer T-Shirts

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Waiting for Pants

Computer operator welding machine.

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Cyber disease.

"Kick the machine"

Minor Surgery

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.

"I had to improvise"

'Look, Doctor. I just want him cured. I'm not interested in what's wrong with him, so skip the lab work."

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

"We'll get that infected tear duct fixed up in no time."

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

"I got a bad papercut from my health magazine!"

'It's our last resort.'

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."