Balding Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Your hair count is dangerously low."

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

'You've got dry scalp.'

Operation Chrome Dome.

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

Whale Pattern Balding

'I use that to check for combovers.'

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"The hair on my back - will it go back to my head?"

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Comb over club.

"Well, did it work?"

"I'm hoping that someday I might be reunited with my biological hair."

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

Combs for the bald.

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

Whale Pattern Balding,

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."

Custer's Last Strand

"I thought they weren't allowed to move!"

"We can do hair plugs, but did you know today we're having a sale on solar panels?"