Balding Enthusiast Gifts

'No, we're not religious. Sam just wears that cap to hide his bald spot.'

"He wants some hair restorer for his birthday."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Intellectual Property

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

Male Pattern Baldness

I think I have a gilt complex.

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'Nice bling!'

The Blings - collectors of jewelry.

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

"I don't regret going bald. I just regret growing bald before I had a chance to rock a man bun."

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

'I'm afraid we must move with the times, Mr Bagley.'

Flying carpet

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

"Cool bling bro!"

Fauna Hybrids

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Bling Bling.

Whale Pattern Balding

Lion Toupee

I Love Baldies.

"I'm hoping that someday I might be reunited with my biological hair."

'She must be the general...the one with the most bling on her chest.'

"If I can reach that cabin, I'll be saved."

"Hey - a crop circle! Let's land here...."

"They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age."

'I pimped your sound-system.'

"That one's six figures plus tax."

Mr Winter.

'He's so rich when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'