Balding Humor Aficionado Pillows

"Your hair count is dangerously low."

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

'You've got dry scalp.'

Operation Chrome Dome.

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Whale Pattern Balding

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

Comb over club.

"Well, did it work?"

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

"I'm hoping that someday I might be reunited with my biological hair."

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

Combs for the bald.

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

Whale Pattern Balding,

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."

Custer's Last Strand

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."

'You're just molting! It scared me too - the first time my feathers fell out!'

"Last year his hair began to recede, then it was gone. I think it has something to do with global warming."

"We can do hair plugs, but did you know today we're having a sale on solar panels?"