Baking Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, great! Here comes Valerie to raise the bar."

Caricature: Nigella Lawson

'I thought, to Hell with the fusty old nude calender. This year, lets make some cakes and jam...!'

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

The Nine Circles of Heaven

'I like making pastry. It gets your hands clean.'

'The souffl? is falling! The souffl? is falling..!'

"Maybe you should call Grandma for technical support."

'Apart from, the icing, how is it?'

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

'Okay, who wants to lick the beaters?'

"But if you let me lick everything, you won't have to do any dishes."

"It's not as bad as it looks. . .they're making you a birthday cake."

That's what I call Flour Power!

Sore knee, huh? Have you tried icing it?

Gingerbread man wins school sports day race.

'What did you two give up for lent?' 'Cookies... We are sick of 'em after eating so many over the holidays.' 'And there are a lot of bar recipes I've always wanted to make anyway.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

Kid to Mom: 'Do you know what would be even better than these cookies? More cookies.'

'Grandma makes everything from scratch! Why don't you ever buy any scratch?'

'What are the best things to put into fruit cake?'

"My mother taught me about baking. She was a great roll model!"

"If we double the temperature, it'll be finished in half the time."

'Baking is my video gaming.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"We're the adorable cookie suppliers around here."

"Other than obsessive bread-making, compulsive cleaning, British-TV-baking-series bingeing..."

"Gran makes everything from scratch."

Little Debbie's F****d Up COVID Year

A pastry chef has an eye test

"I froze all your pastry dough."

"Let them watch cake."

After you finish picking the poppies for opium, don't forget to save some seeds for my lemon muffins.

Bakery. How do you manage to always get your buns in that perfect shape? I use that roll model.

"Tell me the truth. . . what happens to all the leftover cake scraps in The Great British Baking Show?"