Bakery Humor Fan Gifts

'I've got the biggest, softest baps on the high street and I only charge 10p a roll.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Cake Free Zone

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Important Food Groups

Filet minion

Dedication to excellence....

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

Complementary Beverages

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

'He's cured.'

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

Placier.

Baker

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'So this is a kitchen!'

"You're losing your everything."

Russian eggs.

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

Ducks on Trucks

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

Bar, My dog doesn't understand me.

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

The Cheese God

"It's an old family recipe - some flour and water, yeast, a little salt, mono calcium phosphate, polysorbate 60, calcium propionate..."

"How many, 'This will go right to my hips' in a jelly donut?"

"Your food should be out shortly - just waiting for the exterminators to finish mopping up."