Bakery Humor Fan Pillows

'I've got the biggest, softest baps on the high street and I only charge 10p a roll.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Cake Free Zone

Important Food Groups

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

Dedication to excellence....

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

Complementary Beverages

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

Baker

Placier.

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'So this is a kitchen!'

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

"You're losing your everything."

Russian eggs.

Ducks on Trucks

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

The Cheese God

"It's an old family recipe - some flour and water, yeast, a little salt, mono calcium phosphate, polysorbate 60, calcium propionate..."

"How many, 'This will go right to my hips' in a jelly donut?"

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."