Baking Humor Fans Pillows

Alternative Snacks

Cake Free Zone

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'He's cured.'

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"So we've got the cute Asian and they did the student that was the old out of shape ex military type?"

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

"Say hello to my little friend!"

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

"You're losing your everything."

"It's an old family recipe - some flour and water, yeast, a little salt, mono calcium phosphate, polysorbate 60, calcium propionate..."

The Cheese God

'The thought of your biscuits brings a lump to my throat.'

"Well, I just assumed you wanted your toast like your coffee."

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'Spaghetti dinner. Hold the garlic bread.'

'Look, I didn't know they had salad bars on these flights...'

"Mmm. The soup du jour is not cream of mushroom. It is not tomato or celery, it is not chicken, nor is it Scotch broth. It is most definitely not won ton..."

Kebab doner card

RADA canteen, "Lead roll, support rolls"

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."

"Are you gonna eat that garlic bread?"

'Of course, the peas are fresh. I personally opened the can myself.'

Operating table.