Bailout Expert Gifts

'Our cries of Armageddon were completely ignored, so let's just keep throwing money at the economy.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Counting part time employees is the new math.

Kid blowing bubble takes off.

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"I'm worried. We're small enough to fail, but not big enough to be bailed out!"

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

'If at first you don't succeed, admit failure and ask for a bailout.'

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the US budget deficit.

Office of Management & Budget. Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the U.S. budget deficit.

'I thought it was the ultimate expression of minimalism, but it turns out the gallery's lost its funding.'

"If governments didn't think banks were worth saving we would not be worth our bonuses..."

"Anybody want to merge with a steel mill?"

'You realize we'd be unemployed it it wasn't for the bank bailout.'

"We ran your credit rating and came up with a negative number."

Congratulations cards.

Expert and Ex-Pert

"Of course, it's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

"Well, it would have been worth half a million pounds..."

Ed could talk the talk and walk the walk, but just not while carrying hot liquids.

'If experience is the best teacher, why can't I get a student loan?'

'There's light at the end of the tunnel.'

"I wouldn't buy that one. It has a terrible kick."

"Under self-isolation rules, you can make a start on reading your impressive range of pretentious books, can't you?"

'Dear Jon...'