Baggage Policy Humorist Gifts

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"Honey, my boss moved me upstairs – way upstairs!"

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Cat Delivery

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

Airbus

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

P.O. Boxes. It's from the IRS --- It seems they've declared my savings account to be in the public domain.

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

Baggage Reclaim

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

'Did he have to report it to the IRS every time he touched something?'

Passport Photos

'I'd love to stay and chat, people, but I have an enormous tax surplus to deal with.'

BYOD issues were an even bigger problem in the 1950s.

"Are your taxes based on usable living space or actual square footage?"

'You've got to admire their candor.'