Baggage Banterer Gifts

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Left Luggage/Right Luggage

The fate of the emigrant

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

Shops Shops Shops - 'I've just remembered! We came here to catch a flight!'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

Emotional Baggage Handler

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...

Man comes through luggage collection conveyor belt at the airport.

"Bono is nice, and Bono cares, but I really dig Barry Manilow."

Airplanes have to limit the noise pollution at landing

'And here you can see one of the incredible boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

'He's determined to go where his bags go!'

"Now that we can talk, we have to have meetings."

"Anytime you need a sherpa, you can't find one."

'The kids in the barnyard called me a 'turkey'!'

Shot Putting Competition, "He used to be a baggage handler at Heathrow."

Airport: Luggage left unattended will be sold to the highest bidder.

I don't like the looks of this airline.

"Experience? I was an on-line financial analyst for nearly an hour."

'Well, it's about time you two came home.'

Excess Baggage: If you are worried about your brand-new designer luggage, do not watch them load it on the plane.

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'