Baggage Policy Humorist Pillows

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"Honey, my boss moved me upstairs – way upstairs!"

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Cat Delivery

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

Airbus

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Baggage Reclaim

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

Passport Photos

'I'd love to stay and chat, people, but I have an enormous tax surplus to deal with.'

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

'Did he have to report it to the IRS every time he touched something?'

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

BYOD issues were an even bigger problem in the 1950s.

'You've got to admire their candor.'

In other news, a Kurdish group today announced plans to send humanitarian aid to British and American taxpayers...'