Baggage Fee Dodgers Gifts

"No luggage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Hear me, Graduates!

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

Kicking The Habit

'So, who's first?'

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

"I can help you get your finances back in shape – you've just got to believe in me."

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

"The answer is NO!"

Tonight's Lecture: Your share of the national debt. That explains my credit rating.

And your repayment period starts...Now!

Gone for Broke College

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

'Money doesn't have wings, feet or wings. My dad says that nevertheless, it disappears with the speed of light.'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.