Baggage Fee Dodgers Pillows

"No luggage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

Hear me, Graduates!

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'So, who's first?'

Kicking The Habit

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

"I can help you get your finances back in shape – you've just got to believe in me."

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

And your repayment period starts...Now!

"The answer is NO!"

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

'Money doesn't have wings, feet or wings. My dad says that nevertheless, it disappears with the speed of light.'

Gone for Broke College

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.