Ticket Dodgers Gifts

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

'You better take care of the bill quickly or there's going to be hell to pay.'

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

Dozens of parking tickets under windscreen wipers. Woman passenger says: 'It might be time to give the windscreen a wipe.'

"No luggage."

"Yoo-hoo! My husband gets the senior-citizen discount! Yoo-hoo, Officer, yoo-hoo!"

"It's weird... My boss has a freaky way of seeing through my excuses. It's like a sick sense."

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

"So I'm thinking...why bother with all the junk mail?"

Phil would try anything to avoid paying hefty airport parking fees.

"I can't wait that long."

"You're in the upper, upper, UPPER balcony."

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

'It's not fair. You have classes and pep talks on selling and I have to resist all on my own.'

"Tell me about online banking again. I'm not good at technology, but it's got to be less stressful than this."

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

Other Walks of Shame

'Gentlemen, this deal offers some spectacular opportunities for us to miss, and miss them we shall.'

Sorry out of numbers.

'Don't take the buyout.'