Bad News Avoider Gifts

Fear of news.

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"Spoiler alert."

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

Election Cancelling Headphones

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."

"So if you don't want to know the World Cup results look away now until July 16th."

"Oh good, there's nothing on."

2016 Policlicks

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

"We find pizza softens the blow of bad news."

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

Desert - Steep Hill sign.

'Stocks rose on news that random acts of kindness today outnumbered random acts of violence.'

"Oh my God have you seen this sh-"

'The news on tv is SO depressing, I've decided to stop watching it.' 'Is that permitted?!'

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"At last — no Trump."

"Grandpa, you remind me a lot of myself in my pre-tech years."

"My insomnia is getting worse, doctor - I can't even sleep now when there is a party political programme on television."

So much to be cross about, so little time.

Man walking in the desert things that he has found salvation only to be informed that he is screwed.

"This is where I go to get away from reality TV."

"I wish they'd turn off the news when they leave."

Day two of my political diet. I haven't watched FOX, or MSNBC. I haven't read the news pages of the paper. Scribble scribble scribble scribble scrib - I also haven't had any sweats, or racing hearts or hives. Write write write write scribble write. So I can probably start watching Hannity again tomorrow! Absolutely not. Doctor's orders!

"I've never been one for small talk..."

"Quit asking if I'm O.K. If I'm ever O.K., I'll let you know."