Bad News Breaker Gifts

Man Reading From Within Bullet-Proof Box

Man walking in the desert things that he has found salvation only to be informed that he is screwed.

'Let's not go by the book.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

Fear of news.

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'Read that last part back to me.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'Rules are there to be broken, my friend.'

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

Pole Vault Rules

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'

Lab safety Rule No. 1

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'