Bad-list Negotiator Gifts

'I'm negotiatin with Santa Claus the romval of my name from the bad childrens list.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Have your people call my people."

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Then he slammed the door on me!" "Not the closing you were hoping for."

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

"I'm glad to see we're all on the same page, but let's try not to tear it."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

'And finally, on these wage demands I give no quarter; a dime is my last offer.'

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"From now on we’ll no longer pay your trucking company for driving for us. We’d like to be paid by you because you’re allowed to transport our great products!"

"Tough group."

"Listen George, in exchange for two bricklayers and three electricians I can let you have one seasoned plumber and one first round graduate from trade school." "Mnnn. Okay. But, only if you throw in ten Porta Potties." "Ah, John. Can we make it two first round graduates?" "Done."

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

'We're agreed then - no more purring or tail wagging until our demands are met.'

'We'll email the new offer just to make sure you get it.'

'I want to borrow 1% of that 700 billion.'

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."

'I assume this comes with performance based bonuses and a superannuation package?'

A Young Girl And Her Pet Cat.