Bad Day Humor Pillows

'Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right?'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

Holy Relics.

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

'You think that's bad? My husband got canned today.'

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

'He used to be my tiger, now he's nothing more than a skunk, a boar and a lying toad.'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'I guess it's just one of those days.'

'So, are we going for a walk or what?'

"Thank goodness! I thought that day would never end!"

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"

'Phew! What a day I've had. Still, I don't suppose it can get any worse.'

'It just hasn't been my day.'

'One of those days, huh?'

"You have a giant rip in your pants."

"That's just great! The boat sank and it's hide tide. What else could go wrong?!"

'Having one of those days I see.'

"It's just one of those days. I don't know if I'm coming or going."

'There goes Tokyo.'

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"It's not the flu. I got a very bad case of tired blood."

'This started out as a pretty good day...'

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'This time it's really just a stick!'

A Crab Apple says 'My life stinks...I'm all bruised...I've got worms...'

'I was kicked upstairs, downstairs and everywhere but loose.'

'What a lousy day! The computer, the car, and my stock portfolio all crashed.'