Bad Day Philosopher Pillows

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

The King In The Rain.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'You think that's bad? My husband got canned today.'

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

"Feeling a bit under the weather again, Mr Robinson?"

"High Pressure Area"

The End is Relative

'The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.'

'Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right?'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

Saving up for a rainy day.

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."

'It just hasn't been my day.'

Elephant umbrella.

UK Economy April

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

"Thank goodness! I thought that day would never end!"

"No, that's not data pouring from the clouds. That's just rain. Let me explain how cloud technology works again. . ."

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"

'I don't understand why they make such a big deal about acid rain. Can't we just counteract it with alkaline rain?'

'Phew! What a day I've had. Still, I don't suppose it can get any worse.'

'One of those days, huh?'

Wordplay: Amphibious

'Compare me to a summer's day? In this country?!' (Shakespeare unwittingly insults a lady while reciting a sonnet)