Bad Day Philosopher Pillows

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

The King In The Rain.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

'You think that's bad? My husband got canned today.'

The End is Relative

"High Pressure Area"

"Feeling a bit under the weather again, Mr Robinson?"

'The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.'

'Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right?'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

'I guess it's just one of those days.'

Saving up for a rainy day.

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

Elephant umbrella.

"Thank goodness! I thought that day would never end!"

UK Economy April

'Phew! What a day I've had. Still, I don't suppose it can get any worse.'

"No, that's not data pouring from the clouds. That's just rain. Let me explain how cloud technology works again. . ."

'I don't understand why they make such a big deal about acid rain. Can't we just counteract it with alkaline rain?'

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"

'It just hasn't been my day.'

'One of those days, huh?'

Wordplay: Amphibious