Weekday Philosopher Pillows

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"Well did he?"

"Think about the honey."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"I've figured out why my life is boring."

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

"I feel I need to take a break from academia."

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

"Is this a good time to bring up a car problem?"

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

The End is Relative

'I didn't come to work yesterday because Tuesday is the new Monday.'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

"At lunchtime Dr. Jones just loves taking union talk with his fellow brothers."

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

'Wow! I feel so good this morning, I think I'll call in sick!'

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

Sunday Monday

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"