Monday Philosopher Pillows

The best cure for a laughing jag is Monday morning.

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"The overthinker"

Monday: Next 7 exits.

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

9:00 - '' - '10:00' - '' - 'It's a 'spot the indifference' competition.' - '' -

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

'They traded their 'Casual Fridays' for 'Immature Mondays' . '

The King In The Rain.

Monday morning is nigh.

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Man in boat sees clock rising in distance instead of the sun.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

"Another Monday and Albert couldn't get his ass out of bed."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

"High Pressure Area"

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

'The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.'

"Switch me on please..."

"Congratulations on your retirement Spencer. The team suggested a gold watch but I thought it more apt if I present you with the office clock you've been watching so much for the past 35 years."

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

Monday Checklist.

Saving up for a rainy day.

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."

'I don't understand why they make such a big deal about acid rain. Can't we just counteract it with alkaline rain?'

Wordplay: Amphibious