Bad Date Warrior Gifts

"Was this date successful? No. Do you deserve a trophy for participation? Heck yes!"

Burning the midnight oil.

Working hours.

Pull an all-nighter?

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

Quicksands of time

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

Netflix and chill?

"I wrote another five hundred words. Can I have another cookie?"

'It's not you, Richard. It's your ring tone.'

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

"Is there room for me?"

'You write books, you say!'

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

"Well, I think there's more to life than having a terrific backhand."

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

Speed Dating

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."

"You're the first guy I've met who really listens and blah, blah, blah..."

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

In case of stress break glass.

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

Energy Drink - In case of deadline bust ass.