Bad Date Warrior T-Shirts

"Was this date successful? No. Do you deserve a trophy for participation? Heck yes!"

Burning the midnight oil.

Working hours.

Pull an all-nighter?

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

Quicksands of time

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

Netflix and chill?

"I wrote another five hundred words. Can I have another cookie?"

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

'It's not you, Richard. It's your ring tone.'

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

"Is there room for me?"

"Well, I think there's more to life than having a terrific backhand."

'You write books, you say!'

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

Speed Dating

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."

"You're the first guy I've met who really listens and blah, blah, blah..."

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."