Backyard Relaxer Gifts

'At least when we lived on a golf course, I could use the balls that fell into our yard.'

"You clicked a box on your phone allowing us to use your location."

"He likes to explore wildlife while being lazy."

Living next door to area 51

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

'Oh, that's Fred.'

"Don't look now, but our nosy neighbors just got a trampoline."

Trees fling guy off hammock up in the air.

"I told our neighbor to not leave his metal lawn chair out in the sun."

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

Life's a Bench.

Bird Bath.

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

"He's 'getting the grill ready for summer,' which means he's washing out the beer cooler."

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

A man sitting in the grass reading

"I think he just ashed on me."

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

Leaves falling from a roof garden.

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

Inbox and outbox for books

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'