Backyard Chiller Gifts

'Everyone called and canceled for tonight's dinner party? Awesome!'

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

On holiday.

'Have a nice weekend, Alfred.'

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

The Clueless Diver

'Lookout, here comes another boatload of cartoonists.'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"Memo from the top, guys. Apparently the 'casual dress days' are getting a little out of hand"

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

Beware of Watchdog

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

"I'm calling it Cajun Blackened Chicken!"

'It doesn't say anything....They're having a barbecue!'

"Five million channels! This is heaven indeed!"

"What … have … you … done?"

"Alice! The kebabs are ready!"

'My guess is, you might be running the jets too high...'

"We're still pre-rich."

"He likes his bones smoked."

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

"Well, a ringer and a laner - looks like you win honey..."

"Of course I'm a nervous wreck. I'm man's best friend! Who can take that kind of pressure?"

Fire and Fury was my ex-husband when he couldn't get the barbeque started!

"We've built on their ancestral moonshining grounds."

"Don't worry. . . they will find us. . . we're still in the backyard. . . I just didn't cut the grass. . ."