Backwoods Dweller Gifts

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Country Bumpkin.

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

A man rakes a tree

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Mohammad's motors

"Come and get it!"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Camping with Mr. Thorough

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'We can't really play Hide and Seek, there's nowhere to hide on the plains...'

"Heck of a shot, son, but that's not a deer."

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

Deer Cross Dressing.

OM, SWEET OM

Christmas tree exchange

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'