Backwoods Comedian Gifts

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

I fart more than that!

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

A Venus cow trap.

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

The Sensitive Dude.

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

I've been doing sit-ups!

'How are they biting?'

COWS: Spare cow

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by tin cans! Sheriff's looking' all over for ya.'

That's one harmonious butt hole!

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

A cow's bedside table.