Backseat Banter Lovers Pillows

'Are we there yet Dad?'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

'I can't find the gears.' - 'I'm not surprised. They're strewn out on the road behind us.'

'Thank you for your unsolicited parenting advice! In return, I'd like to tell you about a method I know for removing those unsightly age spots.'

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

"He may be evil, but his breath is like air conditioning."

Backseat Predators

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

"My last dog always too a right there."

"Did we tell you? Debbie's going to be on 'Car Talk.'"

'I don't like backseat barkers.'

A young man replying cheekily to an older gentleman

"You're doing it wrong."

School of Backseat Driving

"If you don't want me to sound like that when I imitate you, then don't sound like that when you talk to me."

"I think it's time to give the word 'fabulous' back to the straight world."

'I called it first!'

'When you take off your glasses and put a bag over your head you're gorgeous!'

"So I lost my bicycle helmet, what about it?"

'...Brad says he stuck a dime up his nose when he was 3 and he's betting us $50 that it's still in there.'

'You drive and I'll criticise.'

Ask me a question! I need practice. With what? Across the country, partisan radio hosts have gotten so angry lately. I haven't kept up. I need practice being mean. I'm being outclassed. C'mon people! Sadie needs you. Ask for … her advice. Prepare to get mercilessly ridiculed! Sounds like a blast.

'Perhaps that will shut you up!'

'Slow down on the speed bumps, Harvey.'

I still don't see how these 'hand free' laws make you any safer...

You're turning onto Jackson? Miller is waaaay faster! Watch the kid on the bike! Backseat GPS.

Banter Area.

Sadie, Rudy, the holidays are coming up. If we can't get you to agree to a long-term peace accord, may we get a temporary ceasefire? Explain, meathead. As of midnight tonight, each of you agrees not to insult the other. But it's the holidays. It's a time when we're supposed to let the spirit come alive inside you. A time of generosity. Generosity of insults! Stop it! The spirit of judgment and condescension.

"Hey, I dig the creative process. I'm an accountant!"

"Stop it!"