Backseat Banter Lover Gifts

"Nobody likes a back seat driver!"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Here comes Ted.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'I can't find the gears.' - 'I'm not surprised. They're strewn out on the road behind us.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

'How long will it be until he can sit up and take the criticism?'

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

'Excuse me, would you like a 'pre-coital cigarette'?'

Backseat Predators

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

'Speak with the voice of reason again.'

Sports Bar: 5-7 pm No Bullying During Happy Hour.

We're back, baby! Oh, no. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr. Web. $12.50. I'll have Jell-o. Make that two Jello-os. We're celebrating. The old lady and I are back together again. What? How dare you?! I'm only four months older than you. You're on thin ice, darling. Oh, I'm on thin ice, snookums? Am I the one who invited his freeloading sister to live with us without even a discussion? Am I the one who "accidentally" left the gate open so her husband's beloved dog could run away? ... Dear? You're the

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

'Are we there yet Dad?'

Bus rally tour

"There might have been some carelessness on my part, but it was mostly just good police work."

Nice boobs. Where did you buy them?