Back Rub Enthusiast Gifts

Linda mad a killing during slow-moving commuter traffic.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

The First Domesticated Dog: "Can you compete with a free life time supply of tummy rubs? . . . Well?. . . Yeah, I didn't think so."

Couples Massage

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"Sorry Darling, I can't reach your itchy spot..."

"Belly rubs are a gateway activity that leads to chasing bunnies and fetching frisbees."

'Will work for tummy rub.'

To compensate for the stress of news broadcasts, Tina's TV came with a built-in massage system.

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

"The bad news is, no walk. The good news is, unlimited belly rubs, chase around the dining room table, salmon for dinner, and you're on my bed tonight."

"Combining our favorite pastimes of drinking, fishing and hot tubbing makes me realize... we should stop drinking."

'Only way I could get him to come was to tell him it was massage therapy.'

"I'm glad you're enjoying the massage feature on your new chair, but can you lower the setting a bit?"

Back scratcher

'Sure, it's an improvement. But I guess we'll need to get to the airport a lot earlier from now on...'

"Don't panic, you're safe: he's my next appointment..."

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"So, is this your very first visit to a massage therapist?"

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

"Basically, the job is hands on training."

"Ooooohhhh, that feels so good. Now, down and a little to the right, please."

"I like having my head scratched but what I really love is deep tissue massage."

"Note to self: No More Massages."

"Just a belly rub today, Kitten."

"And if this prescription doesn't work, see if you can get someone to rub your belly. That always make me feel better."

Surgery.

Health Club Warning

Pisa Chiropractic.

Dogs enter lottery for belly rubs.